Fuck you snow, and fuck you anxiety

0211CIt is currently 2:32 pm in Colorado and what am I doing?  Drinking a beer.  The fact that I am drinking a beer shouldn’t be all that surprising.  I am not an alcoholic, but I do like to enjoy my Michelob Ultra, especially on a Friday after a long week of work.  Well, let’s be honest: I could drink a Michelob Ultra mostly anytime, but not normally at 2:30something in the afternoon.  Most of the time I am still at work at this time, so I wait until later to drink.  Or I might drink this early on vacation, which I clearly am not on.  Whatever.  I am getting away from the point.

So snow.  I love snow.  Really, I do.  But when it is 41 days after the first day of Spring, a freaking winter storm is not the first thing on my bucket list.  Which brings me to this.  I am so annoyed, hence the Michelob Ultra at 2:30something pm.  We had an early release at work today. I was told to leave a little bit earlier.  Cool, thanks.  So I came home to let the dogs out quick because I was going to go to the sister base in town to go bowling with Bill and his work dudes.  Sounded like a fun evening to me.  Until, snow.  As I was driving over to Bill’s base, he called and said to turn around because the bowling alley was closed because of the snow.  Ok, no problem.  The roads aren’t that bad, so it wasn’t an issue coming home.  The snow is consistently falling as it has been all day, but the roads still aren’t cold enough to cause the snow to really stick.

Keep in mind: I had just been home.  I was only gone for about ten minutes; long enough for me to basically drive a circle around the town and come back home.  We don’t live in a big town.  When I came home the first time, I had no problem getting into the driveway.  I didn’t try to get into the garage because I was running in for about five minutes to let the dogs out.  Besides, it is cold outside and I wanted to leave my car running.  Duh, can’t do that in the garage with the door closed because of carbon monoxide poisoning and stuff.  I didn’t want to leave the garage door open because of SNOW.

When I got home the second time, I got stuck in my driveway.  What. The. Fuck.  At first it was a non-issue.  Okay, so I got stuck a little bit; I will just shovel my way out and get on with life.  Remember: it is snowing.  Snow is not warm.  I had on a measley thin hoodie, jeans, and my snow boots (shoutout to my mom and dad for these awesome Cabelas’ boots I’ve had for like eight years).  “Shoveling my way out” didn’t work the first, second, or even the third time.  It took me four times to finally shovel enough snow to be able to pull into my garage.  Meanwhile, my anxiety started rearing its ugly head and creeping up on me.  Why?  I don’t know.  I couldn’t find the shovel.  I was huffing and puffing to hurry up and shovel my way out so that I could get into the warmth of my house.  Besides that I had to get in and out of my car to see if I had shoveled enough to be able to get unstuck and not slide everywhere.  It was annoying and made my anxiety peak.

Look, I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal.  And if you don’t have anxiety, it is highly unlikely that you can relate.  But it was awful to me.  I was just short of blacking out and throwing some shit against the wall.  In hindsight was it a big deal?  No, not really.  But truly in that point, all I could think was “I am going to be stuck in my stupid driveway” or “I am sliding so bad that eventually I am just going to slide into my house”.  That would bring on a whole different problem that I wasn’t quite ready to face.

Anyway, mother nature, you can have this snow back and please keep it until say around November. Thanks, bye.

P.S. By the time you (whoever you are) reads this, it won’t be 2:32pm anymore.

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